How I became a child of God.
In my early life I always thought in the back of my mind that there was a God type entity that made me. But for many years I just left it at that. My dad came from a catholic family from Ireland my mother was from protestant Scotland. My brother and I were going to be baptised into the catholic faith but we were stopped by the catholic priest because my mother was not a catholic, we became Church of England by default.
I did not have a Christian upbringing; in fact I can still remember leaving Sunday school because I refused to pay the six pence subscriptions, what joy having a great sum of money all to myself.
As I got older I started to feel that I did not belong, or fit in with what my pals were doing. I just got on with my life doing my own thing. Then at the very tender age of sixteen I joined the army. This caused my mother untold grief and heart felt pain and a lot of tears when I left from Newcastle train station. During my army years I became aware of how different I was to the rest of the lads. In time some of the lads started to come to me, Me?, for advice about stuff and so I became a sort of the one to see on the sly, after one must keep up the pretence of been hard men training to do a hard job.
For young lads just out of nappies it was plain hard, like for me. I started to drink and smoke for the first time. Smoking was one of the vilest things that I started. It was like eating the stuff, oh the pain of it all, but drinking was dandy I thought, I didn’t drink lots at the start nor at the end, but the middle bit was bit more than I would care to remember. While in the army I smoked one joint. This was a gift from my then girlfriend.
Saturdays and Wednesdays were going out nights and I would get drunk, a nice drunk full of the joys type, staying up all night and then doing your job was no problem. On more one occasion I ended up sleeping on a train station because I was so drunk and I had to walk back to camp when I came around. It’s fun been young!
Now to the question of sex; sex and the life of young men. I thought it was expected of me not to be a virgin so with great gusto I set off to find some woman that would help me out and yes she was a prostitute .The place was Kiel in West Germany. I was fitting in with what was expected, but it never felt right. I was always that a bit of me was missing.
After seven years in the army I left and was unclear of what to do next. So out of the blue I decided to attend a catering course at Ashington College. It was there that I met the person that changed my life of ever. She is Lesley Muter and I started to attend the church she went to. Every Sunday I would wait outside the church, looking for Lesley to come along and be with me. When I gave my life to Jesus, I started to grow as a Christian I just knew that it was Jesus that was the thing that was missing in me. Sometime later I met my wife who also attended Crossroads Church.
We were married for ten years when one day she told me that she was gay and had a female lover. I can honestly say that it was the last thing I expected her to say. She left the house in November. The kids were devastated. That first Christmas after she left, was hard for me and the kids, but every year became worse than the year before. The only gifts I could afford were cheap key rings, second hand toys from charity shops. It was pure hell.
The social services did not help because I was not in crisis. I was
frantic, no work, no food and very little money. I was left in £40,000 of debt. There was only one thing for me to do PRAY! Pray over my finances and my children. It was not only praying but also
being
practical. 10p noodles were a main stay for my kids. Straining milk through a wire mesh after the kids had their cornflakes to put in my cup of tea was quite a common thing for me to do. It was only
God that brought me through the bad times. I remember using old curtains as blankets for the three Girls.
|Inow walk each day living in the strength that faith in God through Jesus gives me. I am truly blessed and thank Him for getting me through every trial in life. Having been through many difficult trials it helps you face the next ones as we get stronger in Him. Never have I had such peace and contentment even though life can be hard.
God has a plan for every one and a great amount of love to give away. Jesus was put to death for YOU! So you can have eternal life. NO sin is too bad for God to forgive.
One last thing I never thought as myself as needing a Saviour because I was not a sinner, I was not a drug taking, beer drinking, wife hitter, I was a normal well behaved man who never got into trouble the law. But I am a sinner saved by His Grace. I want to give you this verse from the Bible John 3:16-17.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that through Him the world might be saved.